Teaching Old Tricks

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After three hook-ups that spanned over five years, I was meeting AFFECT once again.  It was a Sunday morning, I was horny and I wanted to get busy in the worst way.  I didn't tell AFFECT who I was, but since he had come over to my place earlier in the year, I knew he would figure out who I was once he arrived.

When I met him at the door, I didn't say much.  I saw a look of familiarity register on his face.  But he didn't say anything.  Only that it was cold outside.  He followed me into my apartment and we sat down and talked for a few minutes, before he asked the retarded question that most black men ask when they are ready to have sex,

So what's up?

I grabbed his head and had him start sucking on my chest.  He pulled out his dick.  I pulled down my pants.  I started rubbing on his chest.  Our dicks got hard.  Then he stood up in front of me and put his dick in my face.  I don't like it when guys do this.  But I didn't trip.  I grabbed a condom and popped it on his dick and started sucking him. 

It was cool. He smelled good.  And shortly afterwards we were fucking.  Back and forth.  His tongue hit every part of my body, and he couldn't seem to keep my toes out of his mouth.  He was really into it.  I could tell that he was really enjoying my body (going to the gym is paying off).  And then his whole body expressions changed.  And he told me, I'm about to come.  I taunted him, Look at you! You can't even control yourself.  That's a damn shame. He didn't make a lot of noise, but his face went through more contortions than someone with a nervous condition.

Aftwerwards, he couldn't move.  He was exhausted.  I don't know why--it's not like the sex lasted more than 15 minutes.  But it was good for what it was.  We both got a nut, and I would be able to move on and have a great Sunday.

Afterwards we cleaned up and as he got dressed he asked, So you have my telephone number right?

Yeah I have it, I responded.  Are you going to use it?  he inquired. 

Why should I use it?  He looked puzzled.  Like he couldn't believe what I just said.  I continued, Do you return phone calls?

Yes, he paused.  Yes, I do. 

I told him, I don't think you do.

And then came the excuses.  I am just so busy, between work, and business school--I just stay busy.  When I leave here I am going to go to the library and probably stay there all night.  It's rough man.  And then when I am on the computer, I am usually just checking information for my classes, and I just happen to hop on adam4adam in order to check my messages.

Yeah right, I thought to myself.

So when are you going to call me? he asked again.

I decided to be upfront.  I wasn't going to pussyfoot.  I was going to tell him exactly what was on my mind.  I answered him, Never.

Why not?

I tried not to be mean and give him the excuse that, Because most guys are on bullshit.  I pussyfooted.

But you and I have a history.  And when he said that, I decided to be honest. You're right we do.  And based on our history, I know that you don't know how to call a brotha back when he calls you.

But I just told you that I am busy.he responded.  I told him,  I know.  And if you're that busy, then you don't need me calling you, I replied.

He seemed a little exasperated, Why are you playing hard to get?  Why are you being so mean?

I was growing tired of the conversation, I am not being mean. I am being curteous.  I am being a lot nicer than you were to me when you said you were going to call me back.  At least I am being honest, now you don't have to waste your time waiting for a call that will never come.

There was silence.  All that he could say was, You are cold.

I refused to take his words to heart, If that's what you want to call me, it's cool, but next time, maybe you'll return a telephone call. 

I walked him to the door and he said, Damn, you really are cold.  I feel like you just used me for seex and now you're sending me home.

I replied, If that's how you take it then, ok.  Take Care! And with that, I closed the door behind him.

The next morning, I got the following electronic message from AFFECT on my computer:

Thanks for yesterday.  I really enjoyed it.  Hope to see you soon.

Now why couldn't he have been that nice all the other times?  It took me being an asshole to get a response from him.  And now, it's funny, but I have no desire to ever have sex with him again.

Drop me a line on the new SEX LINE, call and leave a message or chat 24/7.  You want some advice about sex, dating or relationships?  Have a question that you want answered on my Internet radio show?  Then call the SEX LINE number at 312-224-8815.  And no, this is not an advertisement for phone sex (smile)

Comments

[Dylan]

If you're really feeling a guy you'd find the TIME to call and return his calls.no need to kid yourself,he is just not feeling you as much!! he see'syour number and thinks -not him again or something along those lines...i always take a hint and after 2 unreturned calls i delete you number,if you call back i say i lost your number!

[BT]

Yeah, a guy has to mean what he says. There is no excuse for pussyfooting around. If he liked you, he'd call back or somehow let you know that he wants to get together again. Being brushed off really hurts. A real man wouldn't do that.

[BT]

Yeah, a guy has to mean what he says. There is no excuse for pussyfooting around. If he liked you, he'd call back or somehow let you know that he wants to get together again. Being brushed off really hurts. A real man wouldn't do that.

[david]

Let's be real, time is a limited resource - people get busy, caught up in their own lives, trying to survive. They forget to return calls and forget to reply emails, not always because they're trying to get rid of a troll, but because they just can't.

I am guilty of it sometimes (when I get caught up in work, I just shut out the world, hoping I make it out of the shit) and when things get better, I try to reconnect with those that'll have me back (that I meet you in a club and flow with you doesn't mean you're family or even a good friend).

Perhaps Bernard should have given the dude a chance to screw up once more - especially since both of them seemed to get along decently. Maybe not... oh well.

[Reg]

Yeah, ur mean. But so was he. R u even now? Anyway, when people decide not to call u back, that shit hurts a little (although we won't admit it). Then they on some next shit, when u don't want them anymore. Anyway, they could put that where? Back there.

Me.

[DJSmooth]

LOL! I know that right. I can not stand when you mess w/ someone and you call them and they never call you back. Then you see them in the street or club and they ask you why you havent called "Negro Please!" I would not go as far as not sleeping with him again, but the next time it would take place is by him pursuing it. Make him work for it, if he really wants it. Thats hot, send his ass to the door.

[E]

I don't get that shit either. Why is it you think you're vibing with a guy and then they pull that bullshit of not calling back? I had a date this past summer that I thought went really well but then no follow through from the guy. I emailed him the next day telling him what a wonderful time I had. I did an AK on the shit so I know he got the message..but no response. After not hearing from him for a week, I call, and the motherfucker surprises me by answering. He claims to be out of town while the whole time he gave me the impression he was going to be working two full-time jobs. He B.S.'ed that he'd call me back. I knew better.

It gets so annoying. These men need to stop acting like fucking pussies.

I guess I need to be a jerk to generate any interest.

Ok. I'm done with my rant..:-)

[Ricky]

That whole phone call thing, done got a many bruthas kicked to the curb with me. A good example I met this one guy at the club and got his number. I called dude and we talked for a good while. Dude then was like I got to go and I will call you back. Never heard from dude ever again and the conversation was flowingwell. Well I did give him a call back a couple of days later and left a message but dude still never called back. I have had a many situations like this. Even with the dude I am digging now, I call he never returns calls but when he wants some he is emailing and calling. I agree with Fratman on this one, it seems to be a phenomenon in "the community." Good Post Bernard and definitely on point.

[d]

i love love love this adventure/post. thanks for calling out that limp line AND being honest/you.

fuck ya, i'll call you if you can hit me back within a few weeks/days... sheez... otherwise, peace

[Boogie]

He followed me into my apartment and we sat down and talked for a few minutes, before he asked the retarded question that most black men ask when they are ready to have sex,

So what's up?

I thought I was the only one who thought that statement was retarded when it came out of a man's mouth.

[paco]

I dont think the whole calling back thing is just an issue in "the community" Mr Fratman. I think its a human thing.

I am of the believe that doesnt matter how BUSY you are, it only takes, the MOST, five minutes to call somebody whose company/voice/presence in your life you enjoy to ask them how they are doing and explain 2 them that you are busy and cant talk long but just wanted 2 c how they were doing... but everybody wants to hide behind the whole "i live a busy life" facade when everybody knows that excuse is bullshit. I am guilty of it too so I aint throwing no rocks @ nobody. Im just pointing the fact out.

Anyway, in regards 2 your post Mr Bradshaw, thats how you keep ppl interested. By being an asshole to them. Tried and true formula...

[Fratman1906]

I have noticed that returning phone calls seems to be an up and down phenomenon in "the community." You meet someone, have a good time, call and get no answer or return phone call. Everyone is so busy, but don't want to say that they selectively accept phone calls & text messages and ignore others. I have even noticed how some will drop a conversation in the middle of an IM set. "O brave new world that has such people in't." - Shakespeare, The Tempest.