It's been a minute since I talked about FRIEND. You know the guy who is much more than a friend, but not quite my boyfriend, because despite the fact that he loves me to death--he's on the DL.
It's weird to think that my most successful relationship, has been with someone who is on the down low. We've been "with" one another for more than three years now. I've never been in a relationship quite like this--but it works.
But I still feel like something isn't quite there. He has a big dick. He's great looking. Anyone who saw him would say, Bernard, you're really lucky to be with him. That brotha is FINE. And on top of it he treats me nice. And most importantly--we get each other. He understands my love of all things sexual. And I get some of his quirky sexual fetishes. So I have to say that there are no complaints on my end.
Though I am not sure he is my soulmate (or that I even fully believe in the concept).
But there is something about waking up next to him on a cold morning and wrapping my cold feet around his legs. Or having him curl his smaller back against my chest and drapping my arm over him while we are on our sides so that he fits in my nook. Or me laying my head against his hairy little bird chest. It feels wonderful.
When I experience those moments with him, I know that right now--right at this moment--he is the number one person in my life. And what the future has in store for us, doesn't matter right now. Because now, it is about living in the moment. I know that there is no other man whose dick I am going to put in my mouth (unwrapped)--so that makes him numero uno in my book. Did I ever mention that he ejaculates an inordinate amount? Yes it is hot.
Damn, I guess I am pretty lucky. I need to celebrate this. I think I am going to throw him a party...
I'll bet you with every fiber of your being you wish to have an OPEN relationship with this person.
Does he get that? If he is so perfect and the two of you make sense, why wouldn't he share that with the world.
You are compromising your needs and perpetuating the DL lifestyle.
Posted by: BlogReader | Thursday, 23 February 2006 at 12:52 PM
I'm happy for you.
But I am scared for you, too.
Posted by: Quentin Ergane | Tuesday, 21 February 2006 at 04:27 PM
yeah ... don't take warm and fuzzy for granted. those are rare. and hell ... he even 'gets you', which takes us even deeper into Rare-ville.
there is something to be said for this sort of bond ... though its inherently bitter-sweet.
good luck with it ...
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** sending positve vibes **
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< )
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Posted by: taylor Siluwé | Monday, 20 February 2006 at 08:00 PM
I'm glad you're enjoying what you have! Maybe if you keep it up... the tables will turn and you can claim him as your own.
Posted by: Darren | Thursday, 16 February 2006 at 11:15 PM
This is cute but it is also sad. The man Bernard claims to be his is not his for he belongs to someone else and he denies the sexual existence of Bernard to everyone. Sad so sad.
Posted by: Wayman | Thursday, 16 February 2006 at 10:49 PM
This post has an "Aww" warm and fuzzy factor of 9.5 cut.
;^)
Posted by: Linear | Thursday, 16 February 2006 at 09:53 AM
Yup, you are very lucky Bernard. Not many people get to be with someone who 'gets them'.
Posted by: Coquito | Wednesday, 15 February 2006 at 09:21 PM
Yes, you're very lucky to have someone like that in your life, and it's wonderful that you're so aware of that. So often in life, we take things for granted.
Posted by: Huff | Wednesday, 15 February 2006 at 04:28 PM