On My Own

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Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald sang the beautiful hit, On My Own

In the continuing saga of my 2006 sexual doldrums, I met a guy two nights ago.  He was a cute chocolate brother with cute, soft pouty lips.  He was about my height, but was a chunky guy--an easy 230 with a stomach.  But he looked cute, and he had a very pleasant attitude.  I couldn't wait to get my hands on him.

When he stepped into my apartment, we talked and watched television.  I was wearing a tank top that exposed erect nipples.  It just so happened that he had a nipple fetish.  I was dangling a nipple buffet to a hungry man.

He ate them up.  We disrobed.  He had an impressive dick.  Which was nice because he said he had every intention on fucking me.  If I were any more anxious, I would have been foaming at the mouth.  But at my age, I am still able to feign "lackluster interest".  Even though I wanted to be lapping him up like a hungry dog.

He told me that he liked guys that took charge.  I realized I had a passive top.  A top guy who liked a bottom to do all of the work.  A passive top's idea of a good time is to sit and lay on his back while a bottom does the following:  Talk dirty to him.  Suck his dick.  Lick his balls.  Lick his nipples.  Then get on top of him and ride his dick until the bottom comes.  Because the passive top will never come from all of this.  He eventually has to masturbate.  Or I should say, let you masturbate him.

Sigh.  I really wasn't in the mood.  As open minded as I like to think I am when it comes to sex, I am pretty old fashioned when it comes to anal sex.  When I fuck, I like to dig the fuck out of a guy and let him know that he has been fucked.  And when I get fucked, while I am in no way a lazy (or passive fuck), I don't think that the majority of me getting fucked should consist of me riding a guy.  If that were the case, I have a good mountable dildo that I can plant on the floor and bounce on to my heart's content.

But I decided to take an L (a loss) and work on pleasing this guy--with the hopes that if I pleased him, he could please me.  Afterall, it had been a while, and I really liked his lips.  He seemed into me, and I liked his personality.  So I gave it the old college try and started to kiss him, play with the nipples, and do the foreplay thing.  He kept asking me what were going to do next.  Typical of a passive person.  But I took control, got the condom, and strapped it on his dick.

Before he arrived, he asked me if I had any condoms.  I told him that I had a lot.  What kind? he asked.  It was pretty clear that he was wondering whether I had Magnums.  Whenever men want specialty items (like Magnums), I tell them that they need to bring them.  Magnums are expensive.  And while I keep a supply in my apartment, I like to use them sparingly.  He purchased a box before he came to my apartment.

I was now stapping the Magnum condom to his dick.   And against my better judgment, I was slowly trying to lower my body onto his dick.  I could already feel his dick getting soft.  So I started sucking on his chest, and talking to him.  I grabbed his hand and put it on my chest so he could feel it.  That made his dick get hard again.  But when I tried to lower myself onto him again, he got soft.

I tried the whole routing again.  But it was like juggling.  Trying to lick his chest, talk dirty to him, AND comfortably slide onto his dick, while appearing sexy and in control was very difficult to do.  I eventually gave up and laid beside him.

What's wrong?  he asked.  I looked at him like he lost his mind. Nothing is wrong,  I told him.  You seem upset, he replied. No, I am not upset. I told him.  And I wasn't lieing.  Not being able to maintain an erection happens to the best of us.

If nothing is wrong, then why did you stop?  he inquired.  I was speechless.  Was he really pretending like his dick wasn't getting hard?  Or that if I kept up the manual labor that he would get erect.

What do you want me to do? I have been trying.  But I can't do this by myself. I said. 

I thought about Patti LaBelle.  I was on my own.  This wasn't how it was supposed to be.  I wished that I could do it all over again...and find someone who would stay hard.  Or at least take some viagra.

You haven't really been doing anything.  You've been lieing there on your back, he said.  I had to do a double take. 

The last time I couldn't get hard, I didn't try to clown the guy I was about to fuck.  But I didn't get upset.  I kept giving it the old college try. 

And kept trying.

And kept trying.

Until it was pretty clear that no matter how hard I tried, his dick would only stay hard until it came time for penetration.

What was even more frustrating was that my dick was rock hard, and he had no interest in me fucking him (and I don't like trying to change guy's minds, I like to fuck guys that want to give it up).

So here I was, rock hard with Sleeping Willow dick.

I'm not going to be happy until I break you off, he told me.

Then you are going to have to leave unhappy, I said.

Why?  You don't want to continue?  You just want to kick me out? he asked.

I told him, No, it's not that I don't want to continue, it's just that you aren't going to get hard, and I can accept that.  I'm cool with it.  I'm not angry.  But I just think we need to realize that it's probably time to throw in the towel.

We had been trying for about an hour and a half.  I was hungry and I was ready for him to go home.

He didn't seem embarassed, but told me, You know, I know what the problem is.  It's these condoms.  I had heard that if story before.  He continued, Not being able to get hard is a lot like taking the drug extasy.  One minute you can be rock hard and ten second later your dick can be soft.  You know?

I avoided eye contact. No, I wouldn't know anything about that, I said.

So after a little more conversation, we hugged each other and I walked him to the door.  He gave me a kiss, and finally said goodbye.

But to my pleasant surprise, he had left me a present...

Comments

[That Dude Right There]

Well Bernard, it seems like you and I have been going through the same thing.

My solutions was to by me a little "friend" to keep in the drawer by me bed and one for the shower. Those and my hands have keep me satisfied. At least for now.

[E]

Since it was a pleasant surprise, I'll assume it wasn't a brown betty..:-)

[silvia]

I've enjoyed your site. Keep up the good work...

[thatguyheath]

Awe man...now you know, if it takes that much effort just to get laid then it's certainly not worth it. I commend you for giving it the old college try though. I just don't get it. A passive top--what a waste! I guess I feel like that because I tend to be an aggressive top and I can't stand being with a lazy bottom. I like for both of us to, literally, work up a sweat so when we finally get off--we're both exhausted and satisfied.
It's either Keep Up or Get Up!
I'm curious to know, also...what did he leave you?

[Quentin Ergane]

OH SHIT! WHAT DID HE LEAVE YOU????

And *sad*

Once I hooked up with this guy who has a dick that would have had you crawling across the floor *WHIMPERING*... it was so beautiful, thick and long... just HUGE... and you know what the problem was... he couldn't substain an erection... took him HOURS to stay hard enough to cum, was boddy, didn't always wash, had bad breath...

I was dickmatized.

He was 21, too. And a really bad lover whose dick was so hot, it just turned me on... until the attitude.

I know, I know... I shouldn't have stuck around so long. But I don't know why guys act so stank when they know they can't substain an erection.

More than likely, I wouldn't see this guy again... but that's because I'se a jaded bitch.

Ha!

... what did he LEAVE?!