I Like Big

Why is it that when I first saw this picture my mouth watered?  Instead of going Oh my God! and crossing my legs, the first thing I thought was, How can I meet this guy?

One of my favorite top ten songs of all time is Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby Got Back."  You have to love his lyrics, My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hon!

I have often substituted my own words in singing my own song about how I love well endowed men, My big booty don't want none unless its an anaconda son!

Ok, sick, I know.  I have a problem.  Looking at the picture above for a fourth time, I see that I have never been with anyone that large in my life.  I've gotten pretty close.  I've met some very well hung men.  It might just be my scewed perception, but he really looks like he's about 14 inches.  But then again, it could just be the angle.

Which is the real problem isn't it?  It's impossible to  guestimate the size of a dick from a picture.  Why?  Because it's hard enough to measure a dick.  There's no exact science to measuring it.  A while ago, I wrote about the 2.5 rule--where most guys overestimate the size of their dick by 2.5 inches.  I still stand by that.

But now I think that guys are measuring their dicks--its just that they are all measuring in different ways and from different places.  I always say to measure from the pubic bone to the tip of the penis head--but some people push the ruler against the pubic bone--especially if you're a little overweight and you have a FUPA, that's Fat Upper Pussy/Penis Area.

But if you have a big dick, it won't matter if you have FUPA or not.

Anyway, I want to meet the guy in the picture.  Or any of his similarly situated friends.  You would think that having a popular blog like mine it would be a perfect place to meet guys for sex.  But unfortunately its not.  All the guys are intimidated.  And I mostly get hit on by women.  If I were remotely interested in pussy, I would get laid all the time.  Go figure.

But I look at the dick of the guy in the picture and I almost feel sorry for him.  I know a lot of guys (including myself at times) complain about bottoms who want a nice dick inside of them, and then when they get it--they complain, Oh it's too big.  Don't go so deep.  It's hurting me.

I imagine the guy in the picture must get that ALL the time.  He couldn't really get all of his dick in someone and do normal fuck strokes--let alone bang someone's ass.  Well at least not most people.  Maybe that's why the big dicked men are all crazy.

But I've often said to myself, if you relax you can just about take anything.  Hell if a guy can get fisted, is there really a dick that God has made that a man can't take?

Sigh.

So please, share your big dick stories with me.  And if you have a big dick--share your story with me too.  You can e-mail me privately if you don't want your business out there.

This picture has me H to the O the calienTe. 

Maybe someone will get that for my birthday, or St. Patrick's Day--it's lucky, and the closest holiday.

Comments

[nono]

Give me a photo with a guy with a 2 inch dick and photoshop and i will give you that. Its unbelievable that y'all folks are so easily fooled. Thats an enhanced photo. Who has a dick bigger than their hand? Its a curse man. If youg et turned on by this..you must be one nasty biatch!!! A freak of nature!! Its not natural...

[Marz]

WHY HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO FIND YOU?

LOVE IT. LOVE IT. LOVE IT.

A whole blog consisting of sex. YES.

-Marz

[basile]

oh !!!

[incognito]

Looks like Jonah Falcon's dick. He was a regular fixture in the East Vill area in NYC a few years back. He got a little underground celeb status from flashing at parties and shit. Google him. I know he used to have a website.

[Deena]

Bernard, you used my word (FUPA). :) If I'm not mistaken, you first heard that term on my show.

[James]

FUPA, fat upper penis area, I love that!

[E]

That pic does nothing for me. Then again, I don't think that dick is for real..:-)

[kristen]

um yo it was a joke. but i still think it's fake...

[Procrastination_xtravaganza]

I think the best (worst?) part of this is Kristen's comment that she "never thought a white dude could be packing somethin' serious."

Like good grief?! LOL big dicks come in every color. It's funny (and sad) that someone could totally rule out a large penis based on race.

In any event, B, you're on your own with fuckin this dude, something like that aint goin' nowhere near this ass, but, I'll help you suck on it a lil.

[Coquito]

I say too big. I kept looking at the picture to see if it was a touch up but could not find any tell tell signs... I have to agree with you though... I just keep on staring at it. I think, Hmmm maybe, then, Naw, too much... lol

[thatguyheath]

I don't know, man...I guess because I'm an Ass Man, I rarely get turned on by seeing dicks. Sure, they're nice to look at, but give me a nice round ass and I'm all set. Big Dicks--they're a gift and a curse. I can say that because I've been told countless times that I have more than enough to get any job done and that's a good thing. The bad thing is, many guys will see a big dick and instantly want it shoved in them as deep as you can push it, however when it's time to ante up; a lot of them bail out before you can get mid shaft. And that's usually when I hear, "Ouch, take it out", "Don't push it too deep" , "There's no way I can take all of that" or "You're not going to be able to fuck me on my back."
So yeah, it's nice to be packing meat, but Bernard, you yourself know about the Runaway guys--who, as soon as you drop trou, they're realizing that they've gotten themselves into a bad situation.

[kristen]

damn i really need to stop reading this site in the computer class! why the hell did i almost scream seeing that picture!? his dick scared the shit outta me and you wanna fuck? please that is too much!

what also surprised me was the fact that he was white. i never knew a white dude could be packing somethin' serious (unless the picture is fake)

[Chuck]

Ain't a damn thing that I would do with that BUT look at it. All ya'll who want a dick that large, can have it.