Never Know

Front desk clerks are sometimes useless, but you never know.

This past weekend I was in Los Angeles.  Everyone knows that my favorite city in the world is Chicago.  Though I do have other favorite American cities.  But none of them include the great urban centers of NYC and Los Angeles.

NYC simply thinks that it is the center of the universe, and Los Angeles, well, lets just say I'm still questioning whether LA is a city or whether it is just an amalgamation of a whole bunch of towns like Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, and Englewood (sp?) fused together.

It's hard to get around LA.  Which is one of the reasons why I didn't find it that easy to meet black men in LA's men-for-men pool.

I was in LA on business.  And my last full day there, I spent sleeping.  I was exhausted.  I had put an ad on craig's list--but I wasn't getting any bites.  I was falling asleep.

My sleep turned into a coma.  And before I knew it, it was midnight.  I was horny and hungry.  An awful combination.  I was staying in the most busted hotel in LA.  It didn't have room service.  It was located in a rich part of town that had absolutely no late night restaurants nearby. 

I was horny, hungry, and now...agitated.  So I went to the front desk to query for food options.  There was a golden faced short black man behind the counter.  He was attractive, had a big mouth and a huge smile.  I immediately assumed he was gay, but I didn't think much of it, because I wasn't that interested.  There's nothing open at this hour sir, but you can go check out the vending machines.  I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, it's my first night, he said.

Oh great.  I'm starving, I get stuck with a neophyte behind the front desk.  I decided to turn the corner and check out the vending machine.  Heck, you never know what might surprise you.  I was surprised alright.  $1 for a small snack size back of fritos?  Shocking.  But I bought it cause I was hungry.  And as I went back to my room and passed the front desk, the front desk clerk asked, Is there anything else I can do for you?

Unless you can get me a meal, I don't think so, I said. I'm sorry, he said.  He feigned a look of sadness, but it had a little bit of a smile to it.  But then he added, But if there is anything I can help you with, I'm here until 7am.

What?  I thought.

Anyone else would have just said that there is someone always at the front desk.  But he made a point to tell me that he got off at 7am.  He was straight up flirting with me.

I went back to my room, and started eating my fritos while I popped into my computer the greatest musical ever made, West Side Story.  I fell asleep watching Rita Moreno throw down on the dance floor, and I entered into a dream where I was fucking down the front desk clerk.

I woke up in a bit of a sweat.  All I could remember was that--in my dream-- the front desk clerk had a tight little body.  And the sex was good.  Did he have tight body under that dress shirt?  Was he really flirting with me?

I jumped into a pair of sweatpants and a tight sleeveless t-shirt.  I threw a light jacket over it.  I wanted him to be able to see my frame.  I walked up to the front desk with a cup.  I was going to ask him where I could get some ice.  I was thinking to myself, What am I going to say to flirt with him?

But when I got to the front desk.  He wasn't there.  The desk was empty.

Wait.  What was that noise?  I heard a sound.  It sounded like heavy breathing.  No.  Wait.  Someone was breathing hard, no they were snoring.  But where was this coming form.  I walked around the corner, and there he was.  Laid out in the hotel lobby on a divan, stretched out and knocked out. 

Should I wake him up?  Try to get his attention?  or should I just walk up to him and touch him to wake him up, and simultaneously try to cop a feel?  Should I do these things?  I had no idea how he was going to react to my actions.

I walked up to his and sat down on the divan where he was snoring.  We were inches away from each other.  I stuck my hand out to touch his chest, and just as I did--

His eyes opened.

Comments

[sunny]

Eh... NYC isnt for everyone. NYC may not be the center of the universe... but if a single city on Earth had to be... NYC would be it... lol

Anyway, cant wait to see how dude reacted. I assume he responded positively since you intro'd the post with the statement that front desk people are SOMETIMES useless.

[Steven]

Hey Bernard, Its still hot to read your about the clerk even though I heard the story from you later that day here in LA. I have posted my interview with you and I hope your readers/listeners check it out. Just click my name and listen to episode 28 "The Sex Comes to LA"

[E]

Oh my fucking god. You're ten times bolder than I'd ever be. I can't wait to see the outcome of this one.

[Jayson]

Sometimes you just don't get it, Bernard. Like about LA and NYC, both very different but equally demanding, edgy and progressive and maddening. Chicago is without question the most persistently racist big city in this country. Perhaps you don't see it because you're in the middle of it all the time. Maybe you prefer provincial party towns like San Francisco, Atlanta, Miami, DC etc, places where everyone basically agrees with everyone and life just parties on and on and on to no particular conclusion. I love your blog but sometimes believe that you're not quite ready for prime time yet. And it's not just about the LA/NYC thang either. That stubborn and narrow prejudice is just the tip of it all. LOVE YOU MADDLY ANYWAY!
J.

[Quentin Ergane]

*SQUEAL*

NO YOU DID NOT STOP IT!!!!!

*composes self*

LOL

[kristen]

aww you were in my neck of the woods! too bad i'm in santa barbara at school...

and it's inglewood, homie.

englewood is in NJ

[Troy]

Had this been the Four Seasons or The Hyatt service would have been much more memorable and better fulfilling than anybodys' fritos. Oh the memories!

[Linear]

I'm hoping you screw him until he squeals!

[darius]

You and your damn cliffhangers, now you're going ot have me checking this site every day just to see the update again....

[TJ]

Hey B....you just LOVE torturing us with your cliff-hangers...don't you!!!!

[nick]

great stuff i like it

[nick]

great stuff man i love it