Post-Memorial Day Zen

I haven't quite gotten my shit together after Memorial Day.  I am sitting at work right now listening to the Mary Jane Girls, All Night Long.  And I think I have come across one of the secrets of the universe.

I know why it hurts so much when we break up with someone.

The Mary Jane Girls tell us,

Oh, something's got me so delighted, baby

I see your face in everything I do

You got me shook up, shook down, shout out on your lovin'

And boy, there is just no way I'll ever get over you

That's the magic line--And boy, there is just no way I'll ever get over you.  Whenever we are in love--and I mean deeply in love--we tell ourselves that if something went ary (a break-up, a death, etc) we would never get over someone; that somehow, we would never regroup from the tragic events.

But we can look at nature and history and see recovery from drastic devastation.  Sure it takes time, but humans have survived floods, fires, avalanches, earthquakes, volcanoes--you name it.  And nature (plants and animals) itself bounces back pretty well from all sorts of meteorological and geological disasters.

But somehow we tell ourselves that the loss of one person will utterly destroy us.  Do we believe ourselves when we say, And boy, there is just no way I'll ever get over you ?  I don't think so.  I think we know deep down, that not only can we get over lost love, but that we will get over it.

If that's the case, why do we hurt so much?  Why do we insist on telling ourselves this untruth?  Some say its because we don't want to face the prospect, work, and energy of moving on.  I partially agree.  But I think it has more to do with ego.

Human beings seek perfection and immortality.  We want to be superhuman--or at least have parts of us that transcend humanity.  We want to believe that love is eternal, that  the emotions that we feel for that special someone, somehow extend beyond mortal flesh.

Why don't we want to get over relationships?  Because to move on is to admit that love is finite, that maybe our love isn't as powerful as we fantasized.

We don't want to accept that our love is as human as we are, and that like us--it can die. 

Comments

[Tom]

Further realizations that monogamy and 'one true love' are fatasies - human constructs developed as a way to stabilize civilization in less advance times. Now...why do we still bother?

[macfac2006]

whoa...i have to say this is one of the most profound things i've ever read! i think it's so true that we as these starry eyed love-blinded people think that a love that's died will inevitably ressurrect just because we hope for it to.

and even beyond that, i think some of us can sabotage our relationships because of that very same notion. almost like we look forward to the breakup so we can have the period of longing and despair.

lawd we're crazy!

LOL...keep writin like this man and i'll be here every day!!!