• Not a story of a Manolo Blahnik obsessed autosycophant and her 3 friends going to different nightly Manhattan spots. I am a thirtysomething black man on Chicago's southside who rarely has more than $50 in the bank after bills, shops at H&M, and realizes that in order to have great sex and fun encounters, you don't have to be rich, athletic, or even that cute--just be available. Enjoy Sex and the Second City

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Tuesday, 16 May 2006



The lame excuse is one thing. But perhaps you should carry female condoms and use them for anal sex. You can insert them hours before use and then whomever you're with doesn't have to wear one. and you don't have to hear that lame "my dick's too big" shit. I can mail you free ones if you like.


yo bernard
you need to start telling those guys off, they need to learn the importance of safe sex.

anyway, you need to podcast more, i'm dying for the next show


Several people can't keep an erection with a condom on. For the great majority of them, it's mental. They are enamored with raw sex and cant get as aroused with the latex barrier.

Someone mentioned condom makers looking into more comfortable and fun condoms. I think the latter is probably more important. Unless you're huge, or specifically buy extra small condoms, the majority of standard size ones will fit, and not hurt - in any scenario, a condom "cutting off" circulation would likely aid an erection rather than prevent one, as it's positioning would better prevent blood from leaving the penis, similar like a cockring, if you find any condom that well designed, let me know the brand!

Anyway, one of the biggest challenges society faces here is how to make people want to wear condoms, obviously the current ad campaign, "do it for your health" just aint incentive enough. The risk that you might get sick is one many are willing to take, because, you wont get an STD from every raw encounter, and the majority of common STI's out there are curable - so people say, it feels better and its sexier so fuck it. It's akin to bike helmets, people didnt/don't wear them because "I look cooler without that shit on my head, and I've never fallen off my bike yet!" More and more people wear bike helmets now, due to a combination of increased safety awareness, law enforcement, and styling - check out any bike shop today, the helmets look a hell of a lot sleeker than they did 10-15 years ago and it really makes the difference.

Condoms need to be fun, they need to be cool, sexy, cheap(er), they need to warm up and transfer body heat (polyurethane anyone?!) People need not to be made to feel like they are eating a plate full of brussel sprouts just to get the chocolate cake, or hot cross buns - if you know what I mean. The condoms themselves need to be the frosting on the cake, frosting made of peace of mind - bring your own milk.

That Dude

Wassup Bernard,

I too am tired of the casual sex. As much as I love sex, it just got boring.

But I have never run into a dude that couldn't keep his dick hard with a condom on. That's some crazy shit.


but what I keep coming back to is (LOL) "Man, you're dick isn't that big."

Pretty much renders his excuse null.


I wonder how many women stand up to their male partners like that.

I wonder why so many gay men are currently enarmoured with bareback sex.

I wonder why we have forgotten about HIV.

I wonder why Bernard doesn't invite me over -mind you I don't live in Chicago - I'll wear a condom. ;^)

I wonder if the barebackers don't care or are just that stupid.

I wonder why condom makers haven't tapped into this market to make more comfortable condoms that are safe and fun.

I wonder if Bernard will ever find happiness.


No, you need to tell these guys that your health and life is the most important thing. Casual sex with strangers should always without fail include some sort of protection.

And this one doesn't sound like any great loss. He dicked you around in the beginning and he dicked you around when you got there and in turn he didn't get dicked.

Cash S.

After reading some of your previous post, you do seem to meet quite a few people with this "problem". That's interesting. I don't think you were harsh at all. It's your health and you should be responsible for it.


Oh wow...it's cool that you're getting the epipheny now.

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