• Not a story of a Manolo Blahnik obsessed autosycophant and her 3 friends going to different nightly Manhattan spots. I am a thirtysomething black man on Chicago's southside who rarely has more than $50 in the bank after bills, shops at H&M, and realizes that in order to have great sex and fun encounters, you don't have to be rich, athletic, or even that cute--just be available. Enjoy Sex and the Second City

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Saturday, 22 July 2006



I know I'm really late, but sorry to hear you lost Friend.


Believe you me, I know how it feels to lose someone that you really truly loved.

(And now for me to sound like the arrogant self-centered bytch I know I can be)



When I read the title "The End" I was sad because I thought it meant that you were ending your blog. Finding out that it was in reference to you ending your relationship with "Friend" was a melancholoy consolation for me - if I was in the CHI I'd give you a big hug and buy you a cinnamon roll (yes, I remember that conversation!) to make it all better. Talk to you soon, B!


Hey Bernard, you poor bastard! I hope that you went out on your birthday and met a sexxxy curious 19 year old ex-convict with a fat bag of sticky weed, some magnum condoms and lots of free time on his hands.

When you wake up from the overnight festivities, feel free to weep, eat a big pancake breakfast, and spend too much money on a pair of thug-fabulous Tim's.

Later for that ex-nigga, your next man, will be a real man.
Peace & Pancakes

been there before

THERE IS ALWAYS TWO SIDES TO A STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quentin Ergane

... I find I have many questions. Were you calling him "Friend" in that old, "in the life" fashion? Were you two really together all this time? Were we lied to?

And... I'm glad it ISN'T the end of your blog -- I really miss reading your blog on the regular, but I am not glad that something you had with someone is over... especially not this way.

I knew he was really into you. Knew it.

Quentin Ergane

Sorry, I am reading through the comments and thinking this post over, but I think Taylor made some very good and brilliant points. Stop the posturing (although I think this is old because your birthday should have already come and gone since the Sun is now in Leo) and be really vulnerable... if he decides to strike out and hurt you then, you know he really AIN'T shit and thus not feeling bad about and can rest knowing you did your part.

You two never gave EACH OTHER a chance... not really. Not really at all.


reminds me of an ol Whitney Houston song: Why does it hurt so bad? Why do I feel so sad? Thought I was over you, but I keep crying when I don't love you......So why does it hurt so bad...


Let it go, & be free now Bernard!
You can't lose a love u never had........All this means is that now someone else can show u what u been missing all along. I love your blog and what u stand for....let it go & then let love happen. I promise, it will!


All good things end. All bad thing end. All things end. Time, place and circumstance tell the tale.

One friend can always be replaced by another. Absence is another word for possibility.

Hell, if you were into white guys I'd say call me let's talk.

Kenneth Winfrey

Everyone's been there, so why is it so hard to feel empathy for Bernard?

1. Regardless of the semantics ("together," "friends" whatever), there was a friendship there in every generic sense of the word. No kissing, no sex, playful jabs...yep, sounds like a really strong friendship to me!

2. What kind of a person "cancels" (see more at "ruin") a guy's birthday over two silly sentences that had come to be playful jargon? I had a guy "cancel" Christmas (and not just any Christmas...) at the last minute. ...I never spoke to him again.

3. If one seeks to distance themselves from a friendship, then why should it take months to do it without having ever mentioned it at all? When you're unhappy with your friend, lover, partner, f-buddy or whatever, you need to be a man and say so then, not months later or just before an important occasion! Take the chance to talk things through before the resentment becomes a barrier to solid, fruitful, and diplomatic dialog.

4. I have never had any success with friends who've regularly encouraged me to have anonymous sex. ...especially if I would have rather have been having sex with them in the first place.


you should pick another nickname for him now

taylor Siluwé

Bernard ...

Sorry about the break-up. But were you ever, truly, together?

I think 'been there' made some valid observations about your exploits and such, which you've blogged about.

You called him FRIEND, though he was clearly much more than that. Why? And why did he encourage you to do the bathhouse thing? Is it because he knew you'd do it anyway, but behind his back?

Now is the time for you to do some serious introspection. I am the man I am today because of devastating heart-break and a ton of stupid decisions I've been lucky enough to survive.

Endings are always hard. But hopefully we take time to analyze our own culpability in the mess, and learn from it.

Talk to FRIEND ... and tell him he is so much more. Even if you don't get back together, drop the barriers and the manly posturing and let him know how you really feel.

The only thing you've got to lose is that pain in your gut.

Good Luck bro, and chin up ......


I always read this. I never comment. BUT today I am compelled to write to you. It's not a joke, I know how it feels to have someone who has always been there ... be gone. I feel your pain. But I know you're strong and you'll eventually be okay. Do what you have to do to get through. I think you may come off as self absorbed to some because hell, its your blog. You can do that - you have that right. Keep doing/being you -

Just remember things happen for a reason. Keep your head up, be strong. I know its hard - I wish you well

been there before

glad to hear from you mr bradshaw sorry to here about your relationship with friend i have been following your blog for sometime but never responded i would like to say this to you alot of your problem is you are a self absorbed individual and you are very confused you said your friend played to much but in timespast from reading your blog you to have played with situations and men you dont have a clear and unobstucted view of honesty even if you were in a open realtionship sounds like your friend really cared about you i say this because i was in a situation like yours 2yrs ago and i fucked up though i tried to put it all on him. you need to establish at least a frienship with him because these men out here nowadays are full of nothing but trouble and sounds like he had your back and you are going to need him again. I wish i had someone who i could have fun with its a terriable feeling to be alone and lonely. Take a self inventory on yourself and you are going to realize maybe some of the problom was you. Best of luck to you.


now that that is out of the way perhaps you can focus a bit more energy on the blog... :)

caramel remixed

whoa i thought at first you were refering to stop doing the blog but it turns out you were refering to your relationship to friend..sorry to hear abour your breakup and i wish you well

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